Archive for November 4th, 2009

A Moment of Clarity

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

This post is dedicated to my pagan readers. Of course my non-pagan readers are welcome to read and comment, it could be easily skewed to apply to anyone.

One of my twitter pals, RedBeanSidhe, has a blog over at Pumpkin Queen and her Pumpkin Patch. She wrote this post that gave me a moment of clarity…an epiphany if you will. To be brutally honest I have been feeling a bit disconnected lately. Something I am sure all of us go through. My monotonous routine has been wearing me thin. I get up, do a load of laundry, check email, get girls out the door, check social networks, take lil man to school, go to work, sit on a computer all day with twitter, work, and the 50 billion links I click through twitter. And when I am done work I go home, cook, check email, check social networks, blog, write articles, check email one more time, go to bed. In between all of that I might tweet or twitpic while I am around town on a lunch break or something. And yesterday I had this thought that I can’t beleive I actually thought. My Book of Shadows (BOS) has been sitting ignored. I haven’t written anything in it in months. I haven’t even looked at it. So what did I think? Why, I should transfer that to the computer! I mean I am on it all day already, so why not? Right? And I am knocking those pagans that love putting their BOS online, I just actually enjoy handwriting mine. RedBeanSidhe, bless her heart, she pushed an issue in my face that I have been purposely ignoring for at least a month now. I am too plugged in. I mean internet is wonderful, blogging is wonderful, twitter is wonderful….but wonderful things should be held in moderation. Is that not what all pagans seek? Balance? And am I balancing right now? No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, I am not. And that is why I feel like crud and mush and major dog poo (although I almost blamed it on swine flu). The last few days I have avoided the computer even though I did get on to tweet about V in the evenings. It is time for me to rethink things and get back to some good habits.

RedBeanSidhe makes some pretty hefty suggestions. Even down to no stovetop cooking. Now, I will be honest….I probably won’t stop doing that lol. But her idea is in the right place, get back to basics. Get back to simplicity. And it couldn’t come at a better time, we are in the New Year! Change is supposed to come, we should be embracing it and preparing for it. So here is what I am going to do *takes a deep breath*

1. On weekends I can only post a blog in the morning, BUT the blog must already be written. Lots of pre-writing I must do if I want to have one post a day.

2. On weekends, NO COMPUTER. Nope. No email. No twitter. No twitpic’ing. No games. The only exception of course is to make sure that a blog post is published in the morning.

3. Weather permitting we take a walk outside in nature at least 3 times a week. Weather permitting meaning no rain. It being too cold is not an excuse. We can bundle up.

4. In the evening, candle lights. Not only will we be energy conscious but it will encourage us to get creative with our time. Of course this brings me to…..

5. No more than one hour of tv time with at least two hours of no tv in between. Yes, I am a bad mom. I let my kids watch too much tv and this to me is cutting back.

6. Write in my BOS at least one hour every other night. Encourage my daughters to start their own diary, journal, or BOS.

This will all begin….right now.

And that is all I can think of for now. I must give thanks to RedBeanSidhe for her post. She sent me her link letting me know she thought I would be interested, little did she know how much I needed to read it!

And now for all of you….write your own blog post if your up for the challenge of getting back to basics. For my non-pagan readers, you can post about perhaps how to become more unplugged. Let’s get a movement started! If you do write a blog post, please come back here and link in the comments. I want to be sure I see what your doing and others can see what your doing as well.

The “Don’t Leave Me Momma” Dilemma

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

My son is almost 4.5 years old. He is the baby. My two older girls spoiled me, they are daddy’s girls. It’s not that I don’t have a relationship with them, it’s just nowhere near what they have with their daddy. And I hate to sound like Horrible Mother of the Century I just am not a cuddly, please hang all over me kind of mother. Then along came little man. The only boy, the 3rd baby, the LAST baby.  For some reason he decided to cling to me. He was the baby that I struggled with emotionally while pregnant (I was not happy about being pregnant). I had some of the worst PPD after him, but by far no means worst than anyone else….just the worst I had personally dealt with. And of course I have personal space issues. And yet he clung to me. And who can really tell a newborn to “get off of me, I can’t breathe”? I might have my issues but I am not complete cold hearted bitch either.

Around the time he could talk (about 18 months old) he started this “Don’t leave me momma” thing he does. And it was constant. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without his incessant whining about me “leaving” him. At some point he claimed me as his territory. It became an issue if anyone came near me. Especially his father. It caused major stress. The girls were frustrated. The hubs was frustrated. And everyone blamed me. I did this and I did that. I am sorry but even after 2 kids, the 3rd doesn’t come with a manual….k?

Now the boy is almost to Kindergarten and I worry. He still tells me “don’t leave me” but fortunatley not on any similar level as it was when he was a toddler. Now it’s just when I drop him off at daycare in the mornings. Or anytime I choose to go out with friends in the evening. It’s not as bad but he does pitch a nasty fit if he doesn’t get enough momma during his day. I can go to the bathroom or take a shower no problem. We have come along way in 2 years lol. But I dread Kindergarten. All 3 will be at the same school fortunatley. But the two older ones ride the bus. I could take them but I think I am going to be mean and make the boy ride the bus. Then he can’t spend 20 minutes saying goodbye in the morning. I won’t have to hear “don’t leave me” because he is the one leaving…not me. I just hope that soon he will stop. Then I can write a post about how much I miss him crying “don’t leave me momma”.

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