My Baby Turned 10

My oldest turned ten yesterday. Never did I think I was old enough to have a ten year old. Which is ironic because my mom was 29 when I turned ten, I am a mere 34. People kind of stare at me in shock when I mention that I am too young for a 10 year old. Really I am not but I don’t feel old enough for her to be 10. And I got to really thinking about it and I think what it is, I fear feeling old. I mean I have my days, most of us do. But what I mean is when I really start to FEEL old. I run into alot of women at my age who stress over their age. I have sworn to grow old gracefully and yet I wonder if I will end up starting to fight it. Our society has really put an emphasis on “being old”. When I turned 30 my family was hellbent on trying to make me out to be old enough for retirment home. I stared at them, it was only 30….jeesh! 40 is around the corner and it doesn’t bug me one bit. But other people will make an issue of it. Like somehow over night from Aug 30 when I am 39 to when I wake up on Sept 1 at 40 there is going to be some huge metamorphosis and I will be old. But I digress, my point is…..I almost feel wrong for not feeling old.  Like I am not fitting the mold society has set for us. I will get over this of course, it’s kinda nice to flaunt that I am not old while other women are crying over beers.

Anywho back to my baby girl. In 1995 I was 20, had 3 years of being clean from drugs, worked menial jobs and had no health insurance. I had found myself not having my cycle for 3 months (which was not unusual) and I knew it was impossible for me to be pregnant considering I hadn’t dated or been with anyone in almost 4 years. I really wanted to finally find out what was wrong with me since I was always told it was due to my drug abuse. Never mind I started when I was 9 and NEVER had a regular cycle (and never would until tubal ligation in 2005). I decided it was time to see someone. I went to the health department since I could set up payments and afford those payments. That was mistake #1. On the day of my appointment I called them because guess what? Yep, Mother Nature kicked in. They told me to come in anyway. So I went through a full examination by one of the RUDEST and NASTIEST doctors ever.  She lectured me for 30 minutes over my urine sample having too much iron. Uhm, hello!?! I flood worse than Niagra thankyaverymuchbitch. After my full exam she informed me that my uterus was like holding jelly in your hand when it should be more like how the inside of your cheek feels when you rub it with your tongue. I asked her what I could do to fix it, she replied nothing. She told me IF a sperm could even swim through it and impregnate an egg I wouldn’t be able to carry the egg. You see how wrong she was? When I did get pregnant in 1999 I was an absolute wreck for the one week I had to wait for my appointment after taking the pregnancy test. I was sure I was about to kill my own baby! Fortunatley we see I have a happy ending. As it turns out what that doc didn’t tell me was that there was so much lining that day, it made it feel like jelly and when I was examined at my first OB appointment they assured me there was absolutley nothing wrong and I was in perfect shape to give birth.

I was due on Turkey Day in 1999. I ran over 13 days. We had made an appt for 7 am on Dec 6th for induction. At 3am (which was in perfect sync with my peeing schedule in that pregnancy) I was in labor. I was at the hospital by 5 (took us awhile to be absolutely sure lol) and had her at 5:45 pm weighing in at a whopping 9.3 lbs (my biggest of the 3).

Molly at one month

Molly at 6 weeks (one of my favorites cause of her smile)

Molly at a year old

Molly at 4 with her sister Claire whom was 2

Molly at 5 (whom hates the camera by now)

Molly at 7

Molly at 10 (whom is more comfy with the camera again)

Sorry, the baby pics were pics of pics. The last two are from us going out to the theater yesterday for her bday.

Now bring on the pre-teen years. Think I am ready. Maybe.