It’s been an interesting weekend with life learning lessons.

1. I spend alot of my time doing stuff and I need to learn to say no. I am not going to commit to any more events this year, I need more free time to enjoy what I have surrounding me.

2. Purposely staying off the computer and internet is quite difficult. I haven’t been away completely. I have checked on my Farmville and blogged a bit. Also sent some pics to Twitter. But I have smacked my hand several times from jumping on and it’s been good for me. I need to unplug every weekend, not just when the kids are gone. Even though I just added an app to my phone so I can write blogs from phone. Yay, maybe not smart but hopefully it helps with my workweek.

3. I have become co-dependent and I am not sure it’s a bad thing. Although no mother should complain about getting a weekend free, I am going to complain a little bit. While on one hand having that feeling of no responsibilities is there, I miss my responsibilities. I think I would best handle a weekend free by leaving town. Than it wouldn’t feel quite like I am ignoring those responsibilities.

4. My house is very quiet without anyone here. Even with my dog, it’s very quiet. This makes sleeping difficult. Ok admittedly sleeping is always difficult for the insomniac who is an extremely light sleeper to begin with. But without the usual sounds I am not as comforted. No kids accidently kicking a wall in their sleep, no quiet “whooshing” of hubs CPAP machine, not even a peep out of the dog who normally dreams each night and has a tendency to make funky noises that I equate to her laughing. Sleep was elusive unless the tv was on for background noise.

5. I don’t wish to be single again anytime soon. I often joke with the hubs and countdown how long we have until we “kick” the kids out and be on our own. But empty nest hit yesterday and I realize I am nowhere near ready for it like I had joked. Not that I want anymore kids or anything (which was the original basis for me counting down to the childrens’ moving out) but I am not ready to be on my own.

6. My final lesson, I am much more productive without anyone around. I get bored easily and I did alot of stuff around the house. Not that anything actually was finished but is it ever? This is a hidden blessing, kick people out and then clean house. Downside, they destroy it when they get back and I spend all my time being the Wicked Witch of the House by demanding that the 40 bazillion hot wheels are put back into the freshly cleaned out toy box. Who knew that a clean toy box contaminated toy cars?

Ultimatley I don’t regret forcing myself to stay away from my kids this weekend. I could have easily driven the 45 min to the farm and hung out or even brought them home, but they need a vacation from  me too. I was given a gift and needed to take up on it. I needed to learn the lessons that I learned, now if I can stick with understanding those lessons all will be well. It also brought some perspective to the marriage. I miss him terribly. Being on a boat he cannot communicate with me much. Throw in the fact that he probably won’t think to call when they start heading home (maybe they are on the way now?) I am left wondering if he is ok much too often. I can’t call repeatedly because that will drive me crazy and I refuse to do anything that resembles my mothers behavior. The love is still there and I am desperate for him to come home. Good sign? Bad sign? Who knows. We are still a long way to working on this thing and hopefully this time away has helped us both with that.

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