So my girls’ have hit the stage where they want to surf the ‘net. In the beginning, around 1st grade, I allowed them to visit the same websites that the school gave them access to. I never left the room when they were online and I limited their time to no more than 30 min. But now at ages 8 and 10, they want more. I don’t blame them, so much can be seen and learned from. Lots of great informational sites and tons of fun games. So now what?
Here are my basic rules for my girls’:
1. You must ask permission to use the computer.
2. You must tell us what site you are visiting.
3. If you want to search for something ask what search words are your best option.
4. No, you may not have a Facebook at this time.
Failure to follow any of these rules results in loss of privileges. And I do remind them that computer time is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. My eldest tried to tell me it was her right because it was her computer, I pulled up the Bill of Rights and asked her to find it in there and if she found it then I would apologize and refer to it as her right. I am still waiting.
These rules work for us so far. I don’t hang around as astringently as I used to, have to give them a little room to breathe. I do try to know exactly what they are doing, I usually simply ask what it is they are watching or listening to. My eldest hits up YouTube alot for music videos. Some stuff we have banned because they look like innocent videos until you realized someone is spoofing SpongeBob in a nasty way (mom? why is Sandy asking Patrick for a rimjob?). That’s the hardest part for the eldest but I constantly remind her it’s not her that I am not trusting but the individuals who post that stuff. So where do my girls go? They visit Netflix to watch various kids movies (all approved by me first), they play games on Pogo (my account and with chat function turned off), Cartoon Network for games, and YouTube for music videos.
My girls’ have started asking about Facebook to which I have so far banned. At some point I will let them dive in, probably sometime very soon. I am currently considering what options I have to make that safe for them. When I do allow them on Facebook they will only be able to talk to family at first. Over time we will allow friends but I will be watching what goes on. They won’t be permitted to accept any friend invites until I check them and make sure that I know who it is and someone I don’t mind them talking to. I will be really reinforcing quality over quantity when it comes to their “friends” online. I don’t want them thinking that 5000 friends means they are someone special if those 5000 have a pedophile or stalker hidden amongst them.
I haven’t turned them away from being social online completely. With homeschooling I want them to learn some computer skills that will help them later in life. I have found free software for typing skills and a site that teaches basic html for kids so they can learn to do things I can’t (yes, hidden agenda there). I am also going to allow them to blog about their homeschool experience as part of their school day. This was actually the younger ones idea and I liked it. I fought over the idea of making it a private or public blog. Finally I decided to make it public as I think my girls’ can really show what homeschool life is like. I certainly hope they don’t refrain from being realistic since I will be watching over the blog. All comments have to be approved……by me. Not the girls’. My concern is spammy comments and even extremely hateful comments. I think they should see that not everyone will agree with them and how to deal with it, but if it’s ugly and/or uses vulgar language it will be deleted. They are still young and have to build up some confidence.
It’s hard to keep your babies safe online. Even with our rules things are found that maybe you don’t want them to find. But so far we have been able to minimalize it. We have already begun the discussion on what not to share online (age, location, full names, etc etc). I hope to get that ingrained in their head before they start blogging and before they get Facebook.
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