Bittersweet Moments
Although this is being published Saturday it’s actually Friday night. We just got back from the annual school carnival, something the hubs and I totally forgot about and had to squeeze in although we are both ready for a break. He took Alex with him on his boys’ night out and me and the girls’ went on our merry way.
Upon arriving I was bombarded by several teachers. First up was the 5th grade teacher, she wanted to know that the rumors were false. Although I hadn’t told anyone at the school the girls’ apparently have, which is fine by me. The 5th grade teacher was upset, she was going to request to have Molly in her class. Next was the Kindergarten teacher whom also wanted to request having Alex in her class. She actually told me no and “you can’t!”. By this point I was getting slightly irritated with the whole thing. Then Molly’s current 4th grade teacher asked if she could speak to me privately. I was afraid I was going to lose it at that point but I patiently waited to hear what she had to say. Poor woman thought she was the reason we were going to homeschool. Now I have to say that despite my feelings of the structure of public school, I have never had a complaint about the teachers. They have all been wonderful people and have been quite patient with me whenever I stop in to push for some challenging work. We spent a long time talking and I did my best to reassure her that this wasn’t something about her but my own feelings about the system and what I have wanted for years. She revealed that all the teachers enjoyed our kids because they wanted to learn, they were good kids, they were well balanced kids, and kids who made the teachers feel successful. So what felt like me being bombarded with negativity at my choice was really just sadness that my kids wouldn’t be around anymore. Made me feel sad. All this time I have been so excited and impatient and now I am left feeling unsure and sad for other people. Doesn’t mean I will be changing my mind or anything but certainly makes me see another side to the effect of pulling them out. At the same time it gives me a boost of confidence to know that my kids are smart and wonderful. Obviously I haven’t screwed up with them yet.
