My Mother’s Day was a bit different this year. To start I slept in until 9:30. Usually I wake up around 5 am and get chased back to bed at 8 am when everyone else wakes up. For whatever reason I slept and slept very well. I was awakened at 7:30 am with breakfast in bed. My middle daughter decided that oatmeal and orange slices would make a great breakfast. And normally I would agree. But she thought that all oatmeals are the same (meaning instant) and she didn’t actually cook the rolled oats. She simply poured boiling water on them and stirred. It was a bit crunchy. I remember taking a bite and saying “Oh honey, mommy can’t eat just yet”. So the boy enthusiastically ate it. I also had cards that were handmade for me. I have them in my special box.

Once I hopped out of bed at 9:30 I rushed to get ready for Temple. On the way I treated myself to some crack (aka a Caramel Frappe from McD’s). It’s my last one for a lonnnnnggggg time so I figured it was a good day to get one. I hung out at the Temple and then went to a memorial service for a Priestess whom had taken ill and passed away quickly. I didn’t know her well but I wanted to support my Temple Sisters, whom of which knew her very well. I shed tears as I could feel the sadness emanate from her loved ones. I laughed at the stories shared (I would have gotten along quite well with her, she was hilarious). I then found myself in a very strange position. I was not only appreciating my life and being able to live it at the moment but also wondering what would be said about me? Would I fill a room of people who would sincerely miss me? Would someone bring some uncooked oatmeal so my daughters’ can share a giggle? And I was left wondering what impression I hold on people. Am I being successful at being the best that I can be? Am I achieving that goal of being able to love freely and without fear?

And probably the most important thought I had…….I really need to write out my funeral rites. I would like to alleviate the worry of putting something together in the event that I pass suddenly. I want to make my passing a time of ease for those I leave behind. Why should they have to worry about organizing a service? I certainly want to make sure that all loose ends are tied up before I go. So that my loved ones can spend time experiencing the emotions associated with a loss. So they can properly mourn without worry.

This Mother’s Day wasn’t just people showering me with love but me making sure I was showering them with love.

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