I am not sure when it happened, but my children are embarking on the world on their own a lot more now. I thought about it yesterday, while I was on a field trip with my son to an aquarium in Gatlinburg, TN. He is 7, first grade, and he was paired up with his BFF and I was their chaperon. This worked out well because I had just two to keep an eye on and they got along so very well. They stayed with each other and wanted to do everything together. Matter of fact they were almost snobbish to the other kids in wanting it to be just the two of them.
On the ride home is when the inevitable came. “Momma, can I go to D’s house?” with D happily yelling ” YES MRS. P CAN HE COME TO MY HOUSE? I live on this street and my house is this color and we have this in the front yard!” I had to convince them to wait to talk to D’s mom first and make sure it was okay with her. I exchanged numbers with her and now the little man wants D to come trick or treating with him. I sat back and just sighed heavily.
Between him and the tween girls, I am going to have a very busy schedule. Eldest has after school stuff twice a week and regularly wants to go spend the night at her BFF’s or go to the mall. Middle child has after school stuff 4 times a week and regularly wants to hang with her BFF. Matter of fact, tonight the girls’ BFF’s are coming over and I am taking all 4 of them to a haunted trail (and of course Aunt Flow showed up today!).
I work, I have temple work, I have volunteer work, I am looking for new work, and now I am managing 3 kids social calendars. This is new for me. I am not really whining about it yet, I am just a bit overwhelmed at how fast they want to cut ties and run off into the world and do their own thing and I sit and worry about who they are with and what they are doing. I probably shouldn’t worry but given my own past (drinking at 13, drugging by 14) you can’t help but think about it.
The role of being the center of their universe has shifted. I am okay with it but I feel unnerved. On the one hand I do worry they won’t “need” me. Preposterous of course, they will still need me. Then I worry if I will do a good job with it. Will I let them loose enough to learn to navigate the world? Or will I be too restrictive? One kid (not mine, someone they know) apparently says I am too strict because the cut off for trick or treating in our house is 11. But then I am told I am too flexible by allowing my 11 & 12 yo to hang out at the mall with their friends without adult supervision.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have parenting get easier? I mean baby duty is a heck of a lot easier than the tween stuff and yet I do not want to revisit babies at all. Well, I can be a grandmom but not for another 15 or so years. And now I am just rambling.
I must go, I have a Psychic Fair today and I will be scrying. Thanks for the listen