The Pagan Mom Blog

I am a big beleiver that attitudes attract certain things. Positive attracts positive things in your life and of course negative attracts the negative. There are exceptions to that rule of course. Alot of it has to do with perception. And one cannot be positive all the time nor have positivity in their life all the time. But when things are going particularly rough or very well I think back on my attitude the few days prior I usually find a correlation. This week so far things have been wonderfully well at work. My attitude has been pretty positive at work. I walk in prepared to take on the workload, which never dwindles at this time of year, and I take all problems in stride and try not to take things personal. As a result I have had a somewhat smooth week. A few issues have arose but I don’t let it make me feel bad and I have been able to work through them just fine. Now at home it can be different. I have days where I stress too much about being around the hubs and as a result the evening is usually an unpleasant event. On days where I stick with being a positive person, I can let the things that bother me most slide off my back. It isn’t that I ignore them, I just place focus on my goals on how to fix the situation instead of focusing on what it is he is doing to piss me off, how often he does it, and how I wish I had a magic wand like Harry Potter and I could transform him into a perfect man.

Of course this type of thing isn’t on my mind all the time. It usually takes some long string of events (bad things happen in three’s!) for me to stop and consider what my role has been. And when that happens it is time for me to partake on some meditation.

I am currently on one form of meditation each night. It isn’t for spiritual needs but health. I am a chronic insomniac, we can thank the bipolar issues for that one. But when I am particularly stressed it gets worse. I go from my usual sleep 2-3 hours then wake up for 1 hour to up every hour for an hour with 3:30 – 4:oo am being the start of my day. So about two months ago I brought back a trick I learned when I was first diagnosed at 15. Basically I lay down and clear the mind (a feat within itself). I begin the muscle relaxtion by tightening up my feet for 30 seconds and then release. I move on to the calves, then the thighs, and work all the way up to my head. After that I tighten up every possible muscle and hold for 45 seconds and then release. I can usually fall asleep within 20 minutes after that. Last night I hit a record of falling asleep by 9pm and waking up the first time at 2am. I am quite proud of that! The nights where I sleep all night are the nights I have been drinking. As tempting as that sounds, I can’t bring myself to drink every night for the sake of sleep. Besides, it’s not a good healthy sleep.

For spiritual purposes it’s a bit different. I like my privacy so I have to do this when I know no one will be around. I take notice of other people watching too much and little man would enjoy doing a flying leap across the room onto my back. So I do this one when I can and where I can. My preferred spot is in front of my altar. I don’t always cast a circle, I tend to save that for outdoor rituals, but I do visualize my own sacred space clean of all energy before I step into it. I typically have candles lit, at least a few tealights and a couple votives. I also do burn incense as it gives me something to focus on when my eyes are shut, my favorite right now is cinammon. I then sit, slow my breathing, clear my mind, and then focus on what it is I am wanting. I try to distinguish if it’s really necessary and thus becoming a need or if it’s a frivolous want. If I can distinguish it’s a true need I will carry on. Frivolous wants, imho, are to be dealt with in the mundane life. The needs carryover into our spiritual selves and have a greater impact. These to me are much more important. I continue on working out how to gain this need. What it is that I must do and how I will do it. This can now become a multiple day meditative project. Sometimes I need more time to figure things out. I do rely on the gods to help give me clues on what I should do. For personal reasons I never ask them to outright intervene but I do ask for guidance. At the end (even if I have come to no conclusion) I thank the gods and make an offering outside. Is it me or do the gods really enjoy libations being offered???

Moving along, there are times where I am working through something that has no real solution other than it’s time for me to just let it go. This has never been an easy task for me. When this has arisen I have a specific offering to make to the gods. I will sit and write about the particular feelings and situation that I need to let go of. I pour all of it out until I am completely drained (usually this is physically and mentally). At the end I make quick note of how I am letting it go and will no longer speak of that particular situation. I will then go outside and build a small fire (usually in my  grill because I still haven’t gotten around to making a fire pit for sacred use) and toss the pages into the fire and offer them up to the gods. For my Christian readers, this is my equivalent of “let go and let god”. As a side note: for those that cannot do a fire, burying the pages would be just as satisfying.

I do have one other form of “meditation” for the positive and negative. Retail therapy. Ok so it’s not really meditation but it helps. I save it for when I am frustrated with feeling unappreciated or have taken notice that I haven’t bought anything for me in a long while. I also keep the expense down low as the budget is tight and the kids needs do come first. Sometimes it is something as small as a candy bar, other times it’s a new shirt or maybe a new pair of shoes. There are times that we women must do something for ourselves and feel proud. We deserve it!

Ok so what is it that you like to do to attract the positive and work through the negative?

*I purchased this book at a used bookstore and did not receive anything in return of this review*

I got this book called Pagan Homeschooling. I have been considering homeschooling for a little while now. Mostly with the concerns of the snow days and the onslaught of the change in children in 4th grade. My eldest has issues with some of the girls who have turned catty. Nothing physical, my eldest just thinks they are being idiots and these girls are being….well girls. Anywho it has been on my mind for awhile. And I have certain things that hold me back from doing so. More on that in a bit though, want to get to this book.

The title is almost misleading because it isn’t JUST about pagan homeschooling but homeschooling in general. They start off with a checklist of reasons why you may or may not want to homeschool. Only 1 of my reasons were listed. The book also covers resources that are both pagan in nature and those that are secular. The book is written for the pagan parent who does not wish to inundate their child with Christian influence, so the resources are devoid of those influences. That was reassuring because it seemed like every homeschool site I found online was about Christian homeschooling. The book touches on various stages of childhood; kindergarten, tweens, and puberty. Even better is the issue of children with special needs and how to handle that. The book covers using boxed curricula, unschooling,eclectic styles, what supplies you need, etc etc etc. As a bonus the book does offer insight on how to bring in paganism into your classroom IF YOU SO CHOOSE TO. The author makes it very clear that it is a personal decision to bring in religious teachings and that one doesn’t need to feel obligated in doing so in order to homeschool. She offers some pagan exercises to use with your children to help you get started.

So I have to be honest. I haven’t read it all the way through. I did a skimming type read because i have another book review that I am doing that must be posted very soon. After we get through tax time I will be really sitting down with the kids and talking to them about how they feel about it. Especially the older two who have been in public school for almost 6 years. My reasons for doing so are so that I can have them in a year round curriculum, use every chance I can for a teaching experience (ex: grocery store trip), be able to teach them about various religions now, make sure that too many snow days don’t mess them up, and their personal safety is a huge issue for me. After my experiences as a child and seeing more and more school shootings being reported on the news….I do fear for them. Now what I fear most is: I won’t be able to educate them in the manner they need, I won’t be able to work from home, I will get burned out being around my kids all day, and they will miss out on alot of opportunities they get from school. One thing is no more Saturday classes at University North Carolina because they are only offered to the gifted children. To be in gifted program you have to be in the public system. Same goes for Molly’s opportunity to go to Wake Forest this summer for a week, that is only offered to gifted children. Those things I don’t want to take from her because they are amazing opportunities. So I still feel like I am on the fence. I don’t want to mess up my kids, ya know?

Ok so the book info is:

Pagan Homeschooling: A Guide to Adding Spirituality to Your Child’s Education

by: Kristin Madden

published by: Spilled Candy Books

**As of this morning I will be discussing it with my girls this morning. I was very upset to hear of yet another school shooting. I am also extremely disgusted by our city’s refusal to consider year round schooling. Their viewpoint is that since we are a tourist town we must have kids off in summer to be available to work. With the many that are jobless I find it interesting we put off the work onto our students! After talking with my girls we will make the decision and then I will work with my boss on how to remedy the work situation. I am certain we can arrive at some sort of arrangement. He has been wonderful in the past about working with me and I have made sure to keep up with deadlines**

I love music, lots of different kinds too. Except Opera, country, and rap. Although I can stand Taylor Swift. I like music to match my mood but I also use it to control my mood. Music that relates to my spiritual self I find most soothing, even the upbeat stuff. If I am in a bad mood it puts my thinking  perspective. When I am happy it makes me even happier. So I thought today I would share some of my fave musicians and songs that I listen to on a daily basis.

Dead Can Dance – The Snake & The Moon is a very voodoo like song. Always makes me want to dance. Cantara makes me think of gothic bellydancers. At some point in my life I will coordinate a bellydance routine to that song.

Inkubus Sukkubus – I don’t think this band is together anymore. At least I haven’t found any new stuff by them. My favorites are: Heart of Lilith, Away with the Faeries, Wytches, Craft of the Wise, Beltaine, Samhain, Dark Mother, and Burning Times. If you like rock music I recommend this band!

Laura Powers – Circle of Stone is the only song I have listened to of hers. Someday I will get around to checking out more stuff. I really like it, light and powerful. I hum this alot when I am out and about.

Blackmore’s Night - a recent addition to my fave list. I LOVE Greensleeve’s and their version is amazing. Faerie Queen and Ocean Gypsy are another two that I love listening to.

Donovan – Come on, you have got to love Season of the Witch!!!!

Fleetwood Mac – yes, I know….cliche! I loved the band since I was a kid, long before I heard the rumors. Silver Springs and Rhiannon are my two ultimate favorites!

Loreena McKennitt – another cliche, but I indulge. She has a gorgeous voice. The Highway Man, All Souls Night, and The Mummer’s Dance are on my must have list.

Kellianna – another new addition to the list. Brigid is wonderful and Blessed Are We is intensly amazing!

Emerald Rose – Fire In The Head reminds me of working in the rennaissance faire, love it! Great drumming!

Libana – The Earth Is Our Mother, great song to sing along with. Even better when the kidlets join in.

Chalice & Blade – I Hear You Calling. I actually found this one today. Quite catchy!

Michelle Mays – The Promise, another I found today. She has a dark voice but not dreary. I think of it as being a bit sultry.

Spiral Dance – The Goddess & The Weaver, another (lol) that I found today.LOVE IT! the beat, the vocals, it really gets me pumped!

So what are your favorite songs to listen to when you are in spiritual mood or spiritual need?

Coming out as pagan is always a difficult task. Some are lucky and their families and friends are supportive. Others have a much harder time with the people surrounding them. Often you find pagans online who often ask should I? When should I do it? And the ever elusive how do I do it?

I have never really announced it outloud. My family knows and doesn’t seem bothered by it. At least they have never said a word about it. This could be due to the fact that I am not very close to them and we talk maybe a few times a year. My friends know and the type of people I tend to be friends with, it doesn’t cause any issues. My husband’s family…..well I am not sure if they know or not. I have never come right out and said it but if they did ask I would totally confess. They have seen the altar in my home but I am not sure if they knew it was an altar lol. My father in law has seen tweetdeck open on my computer at work and my name is PaganMomBlog on twitter. And I have noticed that when the discussion of religion has come up, primarily the Christian religion, he will usually ask my husband a question. Not in a snotty sort of way but that kind of way of “you beleive like I do so let me ask you”. And then again perhaps I am reading into it.

Lately I have wondered if I should come completely out to my inlaws. I am concerned in the area of work. At work no one knows. Our clientele is on the elderly side and being in the south the automatic assumption is that they are all Baptists. I know, it’s an unfair judgment but it’s habit. One I am working on. I do know that some of them are Unitarian Universalists (which means very accepting) and I know exactly who those people are. But others  I worry about. I don’t want the business to lose clientele because someone has issue with my personal life.

So why is this coming up now, after 6 years of working there? I saw the look about a week ago. One of our clients has a business near my home and often in the mornings on the way in I swing by and pick things up or drop things off. This particular morning I got there before they open. I saw our client coming up behind my vehicle. Which she was staring at hard. And then that look came on her face. That look of “oh my god” and then I could see her trying to process it ” is she? noooo she couldn’t be”. Then she looked at me, that soul searching look and it was a desperate look. What was it that caused such a look? A bumper sticker. It says “Mother Grove” and has some slogan about honoring the goddess. No pentacles, no “my other car is a broomstick” sticker….just that word goddess glaring at her. I could tell that suddenly she was very uncomfortable. I handled her the way I always had. Cheerful and smiling. I told her what she needed to do with paperwork. I noticed that normally a woman who spent 30 minutes chatting my head off suddenly wanted to get as far away as possible. I haven’t heard  anything about this as of yet. My father in law is an adorable man. I can’t imagine anyone disliking him so I think if she had confronted him he might have been able to smooth things over. But the mere idea that he would have to do that bothers me. My religious beleifs should have no bearing on how well I can do my job.

So I am not sure what to do. I have this fear that if I came out to my inlaws that it would make things bad between us. I love them as if they were my own flesh and blood and for them to be upset would hurt me greatly. I think that is what makes this the most difficult. I don’t want people hurt. And I don’t feel forced into a closet, I have always wanted to live my beleifs without being an “in your face” pagan.

And perhaps I have blown out of proportion. Maybe there is some other reason she made the faces and wanted to rush into her store. Unfortunatley experience and intuition tells me otherwise.

P.S. I will be taking tomorrow off. This week is kicking my butt and I haven’t been getting up at 5am but 6 am. So I am going to listen to the body and “sleep in” and not worry about getting a post up. I will be back Friday for my Follow Friday post.

Wednesday already? Jeesh this week is just flying by!

So if you are following me on Twitter I am sure you have seen countless tweets about the upcoming Beltane Brouhaha. Some of us have decided to have a tweetup and chose the Brouhaha as our destination spot. This is an event open to anyone who wants to attend! So I am very happy to announce that I got the email that the registration is now open…..yay!

The event is fairly affordable. $12 early registration fee ($15 at gate), $5 for kids 5-12 yo, $40 for a cabin holding 2-4 persons, $15 for a single dorm space, and $12 for meal tickets. For me and the girls to go it came out to $98. Not really bad for a weekend event.  I have attended some other functions that were much more than that for just one person! Now last year was the first time I ever went so I am not really a big expert but I will pass on a few things I learned.

I personally recommend you get the dorm space or cabin. Dorm space is basically they will shack you up in one of the larger cabins with people that you may or may not know. Basically you pay for a bed. The cabin is good for families or if you know some people and want to share a cabin with. I already know a couple people from twitter are going to share a cabin. The best thing about cabins are they are right there in the middle of everything. There is tent camping space available if you are looking for something more affordable. The people with Church of Wicca can direct you to who you need to talk to at the park for tent camping info. Now the downside to tent camping is that you will have to leave the cabin area by dusk when they close the gate, that is if you plan on driving into the site area. Now if you don’t mind walking in the dark to your tent then you don’t have to worry about when the gate closes. I just hope that you can find your way back to the tent site lol.

Food. I do recommend you bring some snacks and maybe a cooler to keep at your cabin. Bear in mind there are animals in the woods. Last year we had a mouse that literally opened our screen door and came right in and found my stash of pretzels. Lesson learned! Open flame is not permitted on campground except at one designated spot just outside the messhall. So if you want to cook at your cabin, bring your campstove. As for meals I recommend that you do purchase the meal tickets. You are not going to get anything glamorous to eat but it’s not horrible either. Last year we had hot dogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, and my all time favorite….pudding from a huge ass can. You know, one of those ones you find at Sam’s or Costco. They do sell snacks and drinks throughout the day at the messhall.

So what to expect? Vendor row is one. Last year I think they had about 10 businesses with tents set up selling their wares. If you have a business you will want to get in on this event. It’s a great way to meet your clientele! And if you love to shop witchy stuff you will find plenty of stuff to ooh and ahh over. In addition to shopping there are classes for kids which tend to be craft oriented. My daughter had a blast last year making a wand and coloring her own divination cards. There are classes for the adults pertaining to various things. Some were Wicca 101, others were more deeper into theology and then others were craft oriented.  Last year I took a class to sew my own ritual robe. I was the first person who had ever failed her class. I think I felt worse about that for her than about me failing it lol. Also there will be plenty of ritual. Last year we had a ritual the first night, an initiation ritual the next night (I didn’t attend that), and then a maypole dance just before leaving on the final day. In the evening people gathered into a drum circle around the fire pit and just hung out and had a good time. That was the best part, we just had so much fun socializing! I know for alot of solitaries in places that they don’t know alot of other pagans, events like this can be a huge blessing.

So that is my awesome wisdom to share. If you have question, feel free to ask in comments or email me. If you are attending, let me know here in the comments! If you want to find someone to share a cabin space with, leave it in the comments and maybe someone else will see it and respond.

HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!!!

With today being the 13th of January I thought it would be appropriate to mention that  there are 13 months in the lunar calendar. Today would be a good day to become more familiar with the moon and her cycles.

New Moon – when the moon is between the earth and sun. We do not see the side of the moon that is illuminated. This is a good time to work on the “new”.  Magickally speaking this is the time to try out new rituals and/or spells, try out a new divination practice, or even simply trying a new form of practice if you are shifting in a different spiritual path. As far as the mundane goes now would be the time to buy something new, start a new job, or re-start your life so that it is “new”.

The Waxing Moon – a time where the moon is gaining in her appearance and strength. Healing, attraction, protection, and prosperity spells do well at this time.  In the mundane life you may find that now is the time where more people are drawn to you or you drawn to them. You also may notice an increase in pay or money coming your way. Don’t ignore this! Enjoy the people whom are drawn to you or vice versa. Any extra money coming your way at this time is best put in the bank.

Full Moon – the most powerful phase of the moon. I have often thought that people who are not aware that they are in tune with the moon, act the most strangest at this time. They simply feel overwhelmed and do not know how to behave or handle themselves. I think this is why people assume that the crazies are out on a full moon. Of course the old beleif (that has now become entertainment) of werewolves and the full moon still lie deep seeded in our psyche.  Anyhow any spell or ritual you have attempted at any other time and was not successful would be best re-attempted at this time. I honestly cannot think of a spell that would be inappropriate however I caution that you consider the power of the moon. Put your spell out there with too much strength and you may have an undesired effect.  In the mundane life, take time to control how you feel and use it as best as you can. If you find yourself in a intimidating situation, this would be the best time to use that energy and put it to work to make you feel less intimidated. If you want something, now would be the time to work hard for it. The energy from Her will help you long after the phase has passed.

Waning Moon – I like to think of this time as “downtime”. Like all things, the moon must rest and this is when she rests and loses some of her energy. This doesn’t mean that what energy left isn’t useful. This is the time to cleanse yourself and surroundings from negativity. Simple cleansings to banishings work best at this time of year. In the mundane, take note of people who are perhaps toxic to you. Now would be the time to talk with them and see if you can work at making things better. No matter if it’s a friend, family member, or even co-worker.

SO here it is, the first Witchy Wednesday……and I gotta be a Debbie Downer. UGH!

Ok so if you are on twitter then you have probably seen some tweets about a pagan meetup in Salem Massachusetts for sometime this summer. We had started discussing this last month and when I got back from Florida I started checking with a friend in Massachusetts about locations, hotels, etc. Then the shit hit the fan. My car has been in the shop for 6 days with transmission problems (we are going to have to look at buying a new car I think). Last night we ran out of heating oil and I don’t have a clue how we are going to pay the mechanic AND get heating oil in our home! I was hoping for a better year, not one who royally screws me in less than one week of it’s start! Anyhow combine that with payments that have to be made thi year for my trip to Egypt next year, my oldest daughters school trip across the state, Beltane Brouhaha, and a trip to Carowinds (which at this point is probably being cancelled…..good thing we didn’t tell the kids!) I cannot squeeze in a roadtrip to Massachusetts. It really kills me cause I really wanted to hang out with some peeps. But all is not lost. Here are two things we can do to handle this.

1. No matter what I can help people plan the meetup. There is no reason for others not to meetup just because I can’t, ya know? So whomever decides to take over, let me know and I will happily pass on any info I get in regards to hotels and whatnot.

2. There is always Beltane Brouhaha. I am currently awaiting an email to be sure it’s on and at the same place (more than likely). Really my email was to push them to hurry up and announce it so I can start paying for a cabin lol! Anyway it’s held in Kings Mountain State Park in SC. The Church of Wicca is the organizer of the event. It is usually an entire weekend and you can rent a cabin or bring a tent ( I recommend cabin as it puts you right there with everything). There are classes, meetings, vendors, rituals, and so on and so forth. The oldest and I went last year and we had an amazing time. The family wants to go this year and I am loving that! Anyhow it is not a luxurious hotel stay but we could do a pagan tweetup/meetup there. I will post links and what not as soon as Church of Wicca posts their info.

So yea, life is being rough right now and I am trying to prioritize. Think about it, comment, let me know what you are thinking.