The Pagan Mom Blog

Coming out as pagan is always a difficult task. Some are lucky and their families and friends are supportive. Others have a much harder time with the people surrounding them. Often you find pagans online who often ask should I? When should I do it? And the ever elusive how do I do it?

I have never really announced it outloud. My family knows and doesn’t seem bothered by it. At least they have never said a word about it. This could be due to the fact that I am not very close to them and we talk maybe a few times a year. My friends know and the type of people I tend to be friends with, it doesn’t cause any issues. My husband’s family…..well I am not sure if they know or not. I have never come right out and said it but if they did ask I would totally confess. They have seen the altar in my home but I am not sure if they knew it was an altar lol. My father in law has seen tweetdeck open on my computer at work and my name is PaganMomBlog on twitter. And I have noticed that when the discussion of religion has come up, primarily the Christian religion, he will usually ask my husband a question. Not in a snotty sort of way but that kind of way of “you beleive like I do so let me ask you”. And then again perhaps I am reading into it.

Lately I have wondered if I should come completely out to my inlaws. I am concerned in the area of work. At work no one knows. Our clientele is on the elderly side and being in the south the automatic assumption is that they are all Baptists. I know, it’s an unfair judgment but it’s habit. One I am working on. I do know that some of them are Unitarian Universalists (which means very accepting) and I know exactly who those people are. But others  I worry about. I don’t want the business to lose clientele because someone has issue with my personal life.

So why is this coming up now, after 6 years of working there? I saw the look about a week ago. One of our clients has a business near my home and often in the mornings on the way in I swing by and pick things up or drop things off. This particular morning I got there before they open. I saw our client coming up behind my vehicle. Which she was staring at hard. And then that look came on her face. That look of “oh my god” and then I could see her trying to process it ” is she? noooo she couldn’t be”. Then she looked at me, that soul searching look and it was a desperate look. What was it that caused such a look? A bumper sticker. It says “Mother Grove” and has some slogan about honoring the goddess. No pentacles, no “my other car is a broomstick” sticker….just that word goddess glaring at her. I could tell that suddenly she was very uncomfortable. I handled her the way I always had. Cheerful and smiling. I told her what she needed to do with paperwork. I noticed that normally a woman who spent 30 minutes chatting my head off suddenly wanted to get as far away as possible. I haven’t heard  anything about this as of yet. My father in law is an adorable man. I can’t imagine anyone disliking him so I think if she had confronted him he might have been able to smooth things over. But the mere idea that he would have to do that bothers me. My religious beleifs should have no bearing on how well I can do my job.

So I am not sure what to do. I have this fear that if I came out to my inlaws that it would make things bad between us. I love them as if they were my own flesh and blood and for them to be upset would hurt me greatly. I think that is what makes this the most difficult. I don’t want people hurt. And I don’t feel forced into a closet, I have always wanted to live my beleifs without being an “in your face” pagan.

And perhaps I have blown out of proportion. Maybe there is some other reason she made the faces and wanted to rush into her store. Unfortunatley experience and intuition tells me otherwise.

P.S. I will be taking tomorrow off. This week is kicking my butt and I haven’t been getting up at 5am but 6 am. So I am going to listen to the body and “sleep in” and not worry about getting a post up. I will be back Friday for my Follow Friday post.