The Pagan Mom Blog

Coming out as pagan is always a difficult task. Some are lucky and their families and friends are supportive. Others have a much harder time with the people surrounding them. Often you find pagans online who often ask should I? When should I do it? And the ever elusive how do I do it?

I have never really announced it outloud. My family knows and doesn’t seem bothered by it. At least they have never said a word about it. This could be due to the fact that I am not very close to them and we talk maybe a few times a year. My friends know and the type of people I tend to be friends with, it doesn’t cause any issues. My husband’s family…..well I am not sure if they know or not. I have never come right out and said it but if they did ask I would totally confess. They have seen the altar in my home but I am not sure if they knew it was an altar lol. My father in law has seen tweetdeck open on my computer at work and my name is PaganMomBlog on twitter. And I have noticed that when the discussion of religion has come up, primarily the Christian religion, he will usually ask my husband a question. Not in a snotty sort of way but that kind of way of “you beleive like I do so let me ask you”. And then again perhaps I am reading into it.

Lately I have wondered if I should come completely out to my inlaws. I am concerned in the area of work. At work no one knows. Our clientele is on the elderly side and being in the south the automatic assumption is that they are all Baptists. I know, it’s an unfair judgment but it’s habit. One I am working on. I do know that some of them are Unitarian Universalists (which means very accepting) and I know exactly who those people are. But others  I worry about. I don’t want the business to lose clientele because someone has issue with my personal life.

So why is this coming up now, after 6 years of working there? I saw the look about a week ago. One of our clients has a business near my home and often in the mornings on the way in I swing by and pick things up or drop things off. This particular morning I got there before they open. I saw our client coming up behind my vehicle. Which she was staring at hard. And then that look came on her face. That look of “oh my god” and then I could see her trying to process it ” is she? noooo she couldn’t be”. Then she looked at me, that soul searching look and it was a desperate look. What was it that caused such a look? A bumper sticker. It says “Mother Grove” and has some slogan about honoring the goddess. No pentacles, no “my other car is a broomstick” sticker….just that word goddess glaring at her. I could tell that suddenly she was very uncomfortable. I handled her the way I always had. Cheerful and smiling. I told her what she needed to do with paperwork. I noticed that normally a woman who spent 30 minutes chatting my head off suddenly wanted to get as far away as possible. I haven’t heard  anything about this as of yet. My father in law is an adorable man. I can’t imagine anyone disliking him so I think if she had confronted him he might have been able to smooth things over. But the mere idea that he would have to do that bothers me. My religious beleifs should have no bearing on how well I can do my job.

So I am not sure what to do. I have this fear that if I came out to my inlaws that it would make things bad between us. I love them as if they were my own flesh and blood and for them to be upset would hurt me greatly. I think that is what makes this the most difficult. I don’t want people hurt. And I don’t feel forced into a closet, I have always wanted to live my beleifs without being an “in your face” pagan.

And perhaps I have blown out of proportion. Maybe there is some other reason she made the faces and wanted to rush into her store. Unfortunatley experience and intuition tells me otherwise.

P.S. I will be taking tomorrow off. This week is kicking my butt and I haven’t been getting up at 5am but 6 am. So I am going to listen to the body and “sleep in” and not worry about getting a post up. I will be back Friday for my Follow Friday post.

Here it is, the first one my kids ever made! I hope that we get snow more often in the future. They enjoy it so much. I just hope if we get it, we get it without the power outages. There are still over 30,000 people without power here in WNC. My heart goes out to all the people without the power and the workcrews busting their butt to get the power back up and running.

We are supposed to get more on Thursday. We are supposed to leave Wednesday. We are faced with a new problem because of our dog. See normally when we go out of town we arrange to have someone come by in the morning to let her out and feed her, then someone comes by in the evening to bring her in and refill her water. We leave out an exceptionally large bowl for water so that she is well hydrated.  But now with another snowstorm coming (and coming from the Gulf which usually does us in) I am worried that people won’t be able to get over here. She can’t handle being out all night and if someone can’t get to her she won’t be fed and watered well. My neighbors are all going out of town so I am worried. We are trying to find someone who can take her to their house. Otherwise I may have to stay home so that we can be sure she is taken care of. NOT something I am happy about. I checked boarders and most are full and the ones that aren’t are demanding more money than I can handle. Hell by them time we paid a boarder we wouldn’t have anything left to drive down! So yea, it’s not looking real holiday like for us. Well for me anyway. Hopefully we find out today what is going on with that and maybe have the issue resolved.

Also today we have a birthday party to go to. The kids will love that, it’s at CHuck E Cheese….the place I won’t have a birthday party at. Don’t get me wrong, Chuck E Cheese is a great place. It’s just ours is super tiny and has got nothing on Fun Depot. Fun Depot is similar but about 10 times bigger and offers laser tag, an indoor go kart track, outdoor go kart track, indoor putt putt, bumper cars, AND a batting cage. Yea, lots more going on at the Fun Depot! But anyway, we are going to Chuck E Cheese and they are excited.

Today I also finish my father in law’s scarf. Doesn’t matter if I use up the second skein or not, I am done. Been working on this thing for 2 weeks and I am seriously tired of looking at it. Been using the hubs as the model and I am sure that despite the fact it doesn’t reach the tops of his pants yet, it’s ok. Why? Cause hubs is much bigger around then his father. So yea, it’s gonna be done today. YAY!

Oh and last night’s Winter Solstice ritual was cancelled I was so looking forward to it but I don’t blame them. So Molly and I will probably do something small here at the house tonight. She will love that since I usually work alone lol.

Oh and check out this cool timelapse video of the snowstorm!

Did you catch Simpsons last night? Do you watch Simpsons? So if you missed it the episode was called “Rednecks and Broomsticks”. And it featured rednecks and Wiccans. If you watch the show often you know that they poke fun on just about everything. They have been offensive to some in the past and last night was apparently no different. The basis of the show is that Homer comes across some rednecks w/moonshine. And the rednecks possess every stereotype imaginable. If they didn’t possess it, they addressed it. Anywho Homer gets to enjoying some moonshine and somehow it ends up in the water supply. I kinda forget how, I was totally tweeting while watching. Sorry! Anyhow while out in the boonies Lisa goes for a walk, gets lost, and comes across 3 teens whom are Wiccan. In the course of the show they address every stereotype about Wiccans.

1. They are teenage girls. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard or seen on some message board that a requirement for wicca is that you are under 18 and female. Step in to a ritual and you will find people of various ages and the ones under 18 are there with their parents. The local grove usually has about half of the attendees as male.

2. They were honoring Lilith. Now, I found this one fascinating that they would pick Lilith. I would think Hecate, Morrigan, Cerridwen, or even Brigid would be chosen because I find alot of non-pagans have heard of these goddesses. Instead they chose Lilith and several fundies I have had rounds with have accused me of “cavorting with Lilith whom is a known demon”. Yes, some Christians view Lilith as a demon! Interesting pick you Simpsons people! Now for some of you that may not know about Lilith there is no clear cut explanation. It has been said, and supposedly is in the Torah (and I have yet to read a Torah so I can’t back it up), that Lilith was Adam’s first wife. Supposedly when they went to procreate, Adam got upset that Lilith wanted to be on top. She was too headstrong and cast off to the side and Eve was created. Since then, some Christians have taught that Lilith was a demon trying to possess Adam or something to that effect. Now this doesn’t mean Wiccans don’t honor Lilith as a dark goddess. She is certainly not a demon to us, just the darker side of life (which does not equate to necessarily evil). I personally don’t honor Lilith or have any sort of relationship with her so I am not well versed in Lilith. Oh and where was the God? While Wicca may be seen as a goddess tradition, many honor both….not just one.

3. There is a witch hunt. YEP YEP a witch hunt. In our modern days you just don’t hear about witch hunts in the developed countries. At least not like what was depicted in the toon. Pitchforks, an angry mob, and a dunking chair. When explaining how the dunking chair worked, one could see just how stupid it sounded. Many people these days (with maybe the exception of citizens in Salem, Massachusetts) pretty much brush off witch hunts as old lore. But reality it’s a big part of history. Not so much that we witches should feel persecuted (on the contrary we are far from persecuted) but that human beings being treated in such a harsh manner. And it shouldn’t be forgetten lest we make the same mistake again!

4. Mass hysteria blames the Wiccans. What leads to the witch hunt is that Lisa makes some comment about people being blinded by their closemindedness. Then suddenly large amounts of people go blind. And whom is blamed? The Wiccans of course! Again not something too common place but it has happened in the past. It turns out that the moonshine that made it’s way into the water supply caused massive blindness. It was the cataclyst of the entire episode. Sort of a “see, they aren’t evil and we are so wrong about Wiccans”. Of course the angry mob wanted to avenge something so they had to find something else to be angry about. Another stereotype about the masses.

The Simpsons have never been anything to take absolutely serious. I am not an avid fan or anything but I have watched enough to know that they push the boundaries on everything. As a pagan I would find it hypocritical to be upset about this one episode and not every single episode ever done. Take a look at the next door neighbor, Ned Flanders. A Christian man whom they make fun of just about every show. I mean he was in this one claiming Buddhism leads to witchcraft. Is it ok for us to take offense only at what affects us directly? Or should we be taking offense at everything that affects us indirectly? I may not be Christian but it is a religion. And if we can’t laugh at religion of any kind, including our (or my) own then I should be offended by it all.

It really depends on how you view things. I am not going to knock someone for taking offense, all I am going to ask is are you defending every other group and/or religion that has been targeted by Simpsons? If you are, than I have mad respect for you. If you aren’t, I am going to point out the hypocrisy of it.